For the past 30 years, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, has been helping to enhance relationships between spouses, parents and children, friends and coworkers. It is based on the idea that we all have a preferred way or ways of receiving love and when this "language" is spoken we feel greater contentment, affection for and closeness to others. It's like pulling up to the gasoline pump to fill your car. The right pump will gush gas into your tank, while a less preferred language will trickle the gas in and feel almost like a teaser.
What are the five love languages? Physcial touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts and acts of service. Let's take a closer look.
Physical Touch: This is not just about intimacy, but about holding hands, a back rub, arm wrestling (great for teenage boys), a squeeze on the shoulder, a kiss on the check.
Quality Time: Uninterrupted and focused conversations, one-on-one time, eye contact (put the phone down!), taking a walk, going out to eat, throwing a football or going shopping together with your friend or daughter.
Words of Affirmation: Expressing admiration, respect, appreciation; notes in a lunchbox or on a pillow; active listening with empathy, sending a card with your own sincere compliments.
Cards can be both a gift and an affirmation. Receiving Gifts: "Ooohhh, you thought of me!" might be the sentiment of the person who likes knowing you thought of them and cared to show it; Small things matter, a favorite candy bar, a card for no reason, a small trinket when on a business trip. This person also works hard to buy thoughtful gifts, so showing appreciation when receiving a gift goes a long way to filling their tank also.
Acts of Service: "I'll help" is music to their ears, not because they are not capable, but because they enjoy partnering and working together. Wash their car, make breakfast in bed, go out of your way to help with their least favorite chore. Follow through when you agree to do something.
If you want to "hit the bullseye" in your relationships, knowing the love language of those you want to be close to can be a critical aid in bringing about connection. What have you got to lose?
Discovering primary love languages is easy by taking advantage of the free test provided by 5lovelanguages.com (https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language). Once you have this information, try putting some targeted "love" into effect and see how others respond.
Can I assist you in improving relationships? Schedule your free consultaton to learn what might be possible.
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