Are Your "Parts" Burdened?

In the world of counseling, parts work is gaining popularity and finding its way into many practices. Currently, there are 20,000 people on the waitlist to get level one training in IFS (Internal Family Systems) which is a well known parts work modality. Why is this? Quite frankly, it’s because therapists are seeing positive results in their clients in fewer sessions and with more lasting results.

Parts work focuses on ways that individuals have learned to cope with past wounds and to deal with triggers in the present, so that their wounded parts are not re-injured. A "part" of a person’s personality, created by God with love, becomes burdened with negative beliefs, ineffective coping skills and attempts to manage the environment and protect the wounded "part". These patterns of protection usually began early in life when we were more vulnerable and less mature. Parts work seeks to bring clarity, compassion and freedom to these burdened “protector parts”, so healing of the wounded parts can take place.

All "Parts" are good. Some are just burdened.

What is Parts Work?

We are all familiar with conversations such as, "part of me wants to go to the party, but another part of me would like to just stay home and relax". We recognize that at times there are competing desires within us. We want to lose weight, yet we can’t resist that second donut. We tell ourselves we will be more patient with our children, yet we find ourselves exploding in anger. We make the decision to say “no” the next time we are asked to manage an activity at church or school and fold because our people pleasing part does not want to disappoint anyone.

Even St. Paul recognized this when he shared, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”

Romans 7: 15-20

St. Paul recognizes our battle with sin; he highlights the difficulty that we experience in living and responding from our Image of God self, our Interior Self as it is often referred to in parts work, and not our burdened or wounded parts.

What are Parts?

There are two categories of parts referred to in IFS. The part of me that is usually younger and more vulnerable, that carries the wounds and strong emotions from the past, is often referred to as my “child part” or exile. It is called an exile because we attempt to keep it hidden and safe.

In order to protect myself from being hurt again, a part of my personality (that is created by God and is “very good”) will take on a role that it was not meant to bear. We say this part is “burdened”. It often reacts quickly without my being consciously aware of the dynamics of what is happening. A child whose parents only gave praise when excellence was achieved may come to believe that they can only avoid criticism and gain approval if they do things perfectly. This leads to unrealistic goals and a constant feeling of failure when these goals cannot be reached. There may be panic, anxiety or depression if they believe they are falling short.

A child who is bullied at school may feel extreme loneliness and insecurity and take on a belief that others will not like them or will be talking about them negatively behind their back. As an adult, they may feel extreme anxiety in social settings, be afraid to take initiative or may believe they have to please others at all times, even if it leads to their own exhaustion and poor health.

Becoming Aware of My Parts

For me personally, learning about parts work has been transformational, in my own life and in my counseling practice. I have come to appreciate some of my parts, such as my defense attorney, my air traffic controller and my critic. In future posts, I’ll share more about these and how they’ve operated, as well as how some of them are being restored to God’s original intent.

This is a journey you don’t want to miss.

Welcome aboard!